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[personal profile] astrhenaverne

Try listening to: Harder to Breathe • Maroon 5

Seven pairs of shocked, big eyes stared at Yamada, "A girlfriend?!" the group shouted in sync.

Yamada felt like somebody drained all the energy he has with a high-end vacuum, he could hardly nod at his friends.

"How did you know?" Hikaru questioned, not leaning on the wall anymore because of the surprising news.

"There was this guy in the background saying 'Welcome to Tokyo Ferris Wheel of Love' something like if you rode there, your relationship will blossom," Yamada stopped elucidating for a moment to suppress a somewhat sob that was forming out, "And then I heard a girl's voice calling him by his first name with a 'chan' and telling Yuto that it was finally their turn."

His friends' mouths became the shape of a letter O and the room turned to silence, as if it became a graveyard. All of them know that Yamada loves Yuto, and not in a friend way but in a romantic way. In fact, they were sure that any time soon their two friends would be together. The group constantly thought that Yamada and Yuto's eyes, face, and everything about them scream the word "love" whenever they see each other.

"And then what happened?" Keito asked, choosing the words he wants to say carefully.

"He told me that he needs to go and he will talk to me later. He ended it so quickly I couldn't even say 'bye' to him." Yamada replied; his heart sinking to the memories he recalled.

"For me, I'm not sure that Yuto has a girlfriend." Yabu reassured the small anxious guy standing a table away from him.

Yamada then looked at him with apace, his eyes searching for hope and packed with questions that need answers, "Why?" he asked.

"We're not with them, we're not in the," Yabu paused for a second, "Tokyo Ferris Wheel of Love," he said in a voice of a middle-aged man talking in a radio show, in a bid to lighten up the mood of the room.

Hikaru then walked toward the sofa and sat beside Yabu, "I think so too," he joined in.

Yamada looked at them and did his best to smile properly but what came out was a weak smile. What they said helped him but it didn't completely solved his overwhelming feelings.

"Hey, I just had an idea," Inoo told the lot out of the blue and everyone looked at him.

"Yeah?" Yuya said while moving to another comfortable position on the chair that he was sitting on.

Inoo coughed then said, "I'm not really sure about this but what if we go to that ferris wheel place?"

"What?" Hikaru, Yabu and Chinen asked at the same time, flustered.

"It was just an idea!" Inoo replied straightaway.

"It's kinda a good idea but don't you think that we're going to invade their privacy? And," Keito took a break and looked around the room as though he can find the right words to say in the ceiling and other random places, "I'm also uncertain that that girl is really Yuto's girlfriend but what if.. They are really.. A thing? I don't want Yamada to get hurt again." He then looked at his heavyhearted friend.

"Thanks, Keito," Yamada answered and smiled but later on his expression turned serious again, "But a big part of me wants to find it out too. I'll be restless if I don't get any concrete information," he sighed.

"I don't think you should go there right now." Yabu said with a certain but soft look.

"But what if they aren't together? I need to see it with my own two eyes!" Yamada retorted. His legs felt like gelatin to him so he sat on the armchair that was facing his back; thus, he was facing the two old members completely.

"Are you sure that you want to see them?" HIkaru asked him without any speck of nonsense.

"I am not one hundred percent sure but I want to. I can't take not knowing what is happening to them." Yamada answered, heart sinking lower. He unconsciously gulped to erase the uneasiness in his chest.

Hikaru stared at Yamada eye to eye, "But what if the worst case scenario is really there?" He was trying to act bold in front of him but deep inside he was also sad at what was happening.

There was a lump in Yamada's throat, "I," he hesitated then gathered his courage, "My world will turn to smithereens but I treasure and care about Yuto's happiness more."

Hikaru nodded in reply. He wanted to hear those words from Yamada, wanted to make Yamada realize that even if he loves Yuto, what always matter is his happiness. "We can go there for a bit to see it for ourselves." Hikaru told them and Yabu yelled Hikaru's name, "Are you insane? I don't want to see Yamada hurt. Do you want to see him hurt?" he said without any pause to breathe.

A receptacle that was holding Hikaru's emotions cracked a bit, "Of course not! But can't you see how badly hurt he is even by just being unaware of what's happening to the two people there? And even if you stop him, you know he'll still go anyway."

Yamada flinched at the last part because it was true, even if they stopped him he'll still go but he absolutely don't want the two older members to fight, "Guys, please. I don't want to see you two getting into an argument just because of me. I know all of you are trying to help. I don't know If I'm doing the right thing but I can't endure this," he began to choke on his words, "Images of him and a girl keep popping in my head, it's like drilled in my brain while a part of me is hoping that I'm misunderstanding all of this. I need to confirm it or else I will lose myself." he said while trembling.

The members were surprised and ached by what he said. Yamada seldom talks about his emotions to people but when he does, he mostly talks about it with Yuto or, like what was happening, with the other members. The two young members gathered beside him. Chinen and Keito sat on both sides of the armchair and then Daiki followed; he went at the back of the chair and patted his friend on the back.

Yabu broke the stillness that was again invading the room, "If you're going, we will come with you."

"No, it's okay. I can go there by myself," Yamada replied right away.

"This is not a question, Yama, it's a statement. We are going with you." the older member retorted.


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April 2017


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